stevesuarez8480

The world flies by in a flurry of activity. My efforts to assist meet staunch disdain. While my forced inactivity brings only complaints. I wonder whether this love-hate relationship will continue. But I can only hope and believe it is temporary. The stress on the others is more than they're accustomed to. I ask not for much, only that my stress be acknowledged occasionally     with an understanding touch. Date:  probably senior high school.

Now I face the side I hide And see through eyes of my demise. You see, in verse, my thoughts are often softened. I’ve written that by love I’m smitten. But truth be told my soul is cold And shuns the pain that here does reign. The empath here is nowhere near He’s chased away and kept at bay Sickened by the egocentric. As compassion falls from fashion Love of neighbor becomes too great a labor. So what is left of life bereft Of loving one another? A lonely empty hell-like shell Of love unknown and hearts of stone. The Sacred Heart is now apart, So life, alas, can kiss my ass. 8/28/99

  While with pen in hand I fiddle, thinking up some brilliant riddle, A thought that strikes like baby spittle makes me ponder just a little. Could a verse be so obtuse, and yet so clear as to induce, The startled reader to deduce a secret as from Dr. Seuss? “I know!” said I with evil snicker, “It truly would be quite a kicker, and maybe somewhat sicker, to speak the secret as a tricker!” “No,” thought I “That will not do. Maybe I’ll confound the crew With a clever tale. They’ll stew until the secret’s found in open view!” Then listen close, and follow now this tale I tell: Every day the cat would feed her faithful friends  Some tome, some prose, sometimes a rhyme. With blazing speed and papers and pens  She etched out words to transcend time.  But now she tread on ground untrod A new production at her stomach gnawed. She could scarcely conceive a thought so scary, Yet faced it bravely with ne’er a tarry. While her friends waited to hear the mystery Gathered at table...

Soaring peacefully, unobtrusively, reigning in isolation. Circling quietly in sensory desolation. Silent sounds abound. First one.  Then two. And more. Lost. North is new. Goal at all cost. Led to the dead. In perfect formation  folly takes flight. Mark one; exhaustion. Mark two; mental blight. Mark three; errantry. The flock in flames consumed. A more distant peak is found by heartfelt wound. In circling bound, Whielown’s prayer now known. 10/07

When Dad goes home, I’ll hope I took the time For love to bloom like heavenly rhyme. I’ll hope he knew I admired him so, That he had a clue how he helped me grow. Still, I’ll wish I had just one more day To be with Dad- may peace with him forever stay. 3-03

I write to you, readers dear, To give some words of hope and cheer. For you no longer will labor long Reading between my words of song Stating what I am. Be I concrete, snail or stupid... It really doesn't matter, be I dense or lucid. You see, I've found the answer quite by chance- I am, that's all that counts. 3/20/84

That which by its absence leaves me unwhole Yet pulls me within by memories of whim. Daily fills my soul While hourly leaving me grim. While screaming in pain of incompleteness A moment of joy brings serenity No parting will have ever beaten us For hope of joining is the only sanity. Like the sun without light Or the night during day I live for the sight  Of the wholeness that may. Though the day may elude  I can never deny What my soul needs for food  Is the dream to reply. 1/26/98

How bright is the sun? There’s nothing you can compare it to. No words or thought can match the light. How old is time? Can you count all the yesterdays and guess the tomorrows? How about space?  Can you tell me where it ends? Infinity transcends comprehension and despises expression, As love defies definition. Before such magnificent splendor, I am nothing. But I am one with it, and it consumes me. I cannot challenge it.  Nor can I diminish it. Our oneness awes me. Hold a grain of sand,     and you know there is one less piece of sand. Scoop a handful of water from the ocean,     And you know there is one less handful of water there. But catch a ray of the sun, and the sun is no less bright. Cup your hand and hold a piece of space, and space is not diminished. Its essence remains untouched- and untouchable. It precedes the beginning of time, and stretches beyond its end. 95?

Note the turtle- man extant He knows just when to hide. He heads his way slow but strong And threatened, draws in his shell for long. Carried away he soon will die.  The choice is his by birth. Conquered there he soon is splat, but then he doesn't care. 3/14/84

I think we all have met  the classic existentialist who resignedly claims "It doesn't really matter." He stops not there but then goes on     with reasons for his useless chatter Of why it doesn't matter. "Pain & death & suffering will always take their toll. There's no reason man's alive save bring to life a soul. But what's the worth of a soul wrought dry By pain & death and lie 'pon lie. And why do stop to think of worth Or stop and try to explain our birth. What does it matter why we were born; We're here!  That's it!  So let's leave the others alone!" "Fine," said I, "so leave me be to find some peace in apathy. While you, my friend, resigned by chance Do fight yourself in ignorance." '83?

  No dusk to rest.  No night to sleep. I sow today never to reap. No sun rising fresh.  No tomorrows for hope. They’re hidden from sight beyond my scope. Eyes of the earth, grounded in kindness. Endless mornings of hatred mindless. Eyes of the sky , praying in grace. Endless tomorrows, for your love to embrace. Looking ahead I see my road That comes full circle to what I’ve sowed. My body won’t move, in futility lost. My soul’s imprisoned at tomorrows’ cost. Your road lies grandly before you, Full of a beauty you daily renew. May your soul take flight through the glorious site, And may all your tomorrows take you to heaven’s height. 4/22/00

Deep within me children cradled From seeds of love they grew. The world within me never saddled Sheltered from the outside hue. But passing through the doorway, The colors that they see Strike me like the sun’s ray As they give their love to me. In my body rests this power That takes a course anew. I watch, detached, as life is soured, And pray that God my life renew. The doorway’s blacker than the night, An empty vacancy, No future within sight- No hope of clemency. Thrust within I gasp for light Clutching for my sanity. With grace from God I think I might Cause to wait eternity. Long months with death I fight Praying for my body’s purity. His answer takes me to heaven’s height And lengthens my life’s brevity. Upon my heart I write With freshly found humility, “May His spirit lead this flight As I live in his serenity.” 10/99

Our life on earth is base enough For you to agree to our fate. Where lest we honor all your stuff We choose to live without a wait Or hope of heaven's happiness. So what of the man who chose the path That leads to the place of historical wrath? Are you, forever just, to take the poor man's sin And convert it to eternal hate, with no ransom To save his soul?  I pray not. In your unfathomable mercy and justice You cannot condemn a man's God-given weakness And lay the man eternally to hell. For if the punishment fit the crime it shall Give to me the simple hell of never seeing you. The earthly standard of pain cannot compare  To the vacuous instant of my despair With full knowledge that I will never see your face And then, through mercy, to disappear. 6/11/97

The day whose aroma will never reach me  Is moist of fresh-cut grass. It is flowers whose scent is softer  And lighter than their velvet petals. It is leaves that breathe  And in doing give their bouquet to me. The morning I shall never hear Is frost crisp broken underfoot By an animal outside my window. It's the far-off windless bristling Of the sun as it pushes its way through the trees. And this sun I shall never see Does more than dance upon the water. It pierces the water and weaves its way Among the waves until it emerges from its knitting A thousand different threads. The chalice from which I shall never drink  Overflows with a wine sweeter, crisper, And cleared than Bachus’ ever was. So crisp and sweet it bites the tongue And flows through the teeth until it coldly Reaches a receptive throat. And the child I shall never touch  Is so fair the sun does not touch . Instead she surrounds her softly So she may stand in an effervescent golden cloud. As she run...

  One inane grain.  Insane. It does not give life. A particle of silica. Contra ipsum invicta. Empty weak and worthless. Deftly meek and mirthless. So dispensable indefensible. Incongruously inconsequential. Untermensch and moral stench Sleeping on a parkside bench. Goo-goo-ga-joob. A house built on sand Gets buried in shit-made land. 7/25/09

Staggering, a yoke on his back. Waiting, waiting for death, then life. Thorns, blood, smeared vision. Anguish, of a thousand pounds, people Watching, jeering, jabbing. He       falls. A friend, the yoke lifted, momentarily. Clothes tattered, knees bleeding. Needed strength, fopr one more step. Humiliated, to a mere man, since birth. Thirty-two years, gone? No. Ages and peoples, fulfilled. Clothes gone, a skeleton left, The nail,     the scream piercing your ears     cold metal between bone and skin.     Twice more,     The scream across the land, twice more.     A mother looks at her Son.     The earth trembles, centuries are freed. Date:  probably junior in high school

The blackened soul is embittered hate. The hopeful soul is love sought. The blinded soul is love never seen. The empty soul is love ignorant of love. The frightened soul is only a shadow of love. The untrusting soul is false love. The simple soul is love unscathed. The saddened soul is love unused. The haughty soul is love disdained. The lukewarm soul is love unexplored. The lost soul is failed by love. 6/98

Souls in a dance of sweet heaven embraced, Memories of love in eternity traced. Our hearts were joined before we met. Now lives are joined beyond days coming yet. Our souls will dance, forever embracing Slowly turning as eyes are gazing. Soon we fade into one blessed motion, Into a haze in heaven's devotion. As soulmates hoping to forever touch, May our souls live as one, God grant us this much. 4/15/99

as o'er the clouds i flew, enthralled by blinding light, 'twas not the blue that caught my sight,   but the endless hue of white.   a desert of snow, a blanket of down, solitude's glow and privacy's crown   called to show this sacred ground.   but only near, my eyes did see, 'til up my gaze was shifted. then flew my soul far from me to desolate mountains gifted.   and longingly, my heart was lifted. 10/24/05